EaaS | Ego as a Service

Because you're not just a professional, you're a paradigm shift.

I have reviewed and synergized with the Terms of Service.

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Choose Your Validation Velocity

Scale your self-worth with our enterprise-grade solutions.

The Intern Plan

Free

✔ Daily Affirmation Synergy:One buzzword-filled compliment via email each morning.
✔ The "Like" Bot:Guarantees one AI-driven "like" on any social media post you link per day.

The Manager Plan

Standard

✔ On-Demand Praise Generation:Dashboard to turn "made coffee" into a leadership masterclass.
✔ LinkedIn Endorsement Engine:Get plausible recommendations from "Visionary Steve."
✔ Meeting Contribution Ghostwriter:Get three insightful-sounding questions to ask.

The CEO Plan

Premium

✔ Automated "Thought Leadership":Generates a 500-word article proving your expertise.
✔ The "Rival Roast" Report:Re-frames competitors' successes as minor and predictable.
✔ Personalized Stock Ticker:A private webpage for "YOU, Inc." that only goes up.

Meet the Visionaries

The minds behind the magnificence.

Jaxon Valor

Chief Synergy Officer

Jaxon leverages cross-functional paradigms to actionize our core value proposition, ensuring all stakeholders are aligned for maximum impact.

Blake Cascade

VP of Paradigm Disruption

Blake is a thought leader in the pre-revenue ideation space, specializing in thinking outside of boxes that have not yet been conceptualized.

Chloe Spectrum

Director of Value-Added Ideation

Chloe’s team focuses on the meta-strategy of ideating about ideation, creating a perpetual motion machine of disruptive potential.

Tula Stream

Senior Strategic Advisor (CEO's Wife's Cousin's Friend's High School Teacher)

Tula brings a wealth of experience from the volatile world of tenth-grade chemistry and is considered a key cultural asset.

Terms of Service

1. Valuation Mandate: By using this service, you agree to value yourself at least 150% more than your peers, both real and imagined. This valuation is non-negotiable and must be reflected in all future self-assessments.

2. Intellectual Property: All compliments, affirmations, and ego-centric validations ("the Assets") are the intellectual property of Profit & Ego, Inc. You are granted a non-exclusive, revocable license to leverage these Assets with appropriate corporate jargon in perpetuity.

3. Synergy Clause: You acknowledge that all interactions with this platform contribute to a collective synergy pool. We reserve the right to repurpose this synergy for other, more important egos without notice.

4. Disruption Disclaimer: This service is provided "as is." We are not liable for any paradigms shifted, boxes thought outside of, or disruptions caused to the status quo as a result of your enhanced ego.